On The Shelf January 17′

41a4igwcrgl.jpgResisting Happiness by Matthew Kelly

A true story about why we sabotage ourselves, feel overwhelmed, set aside our dreams, and lack the courage to simply be ourselves… and how to start choosing happiness again!

 

 

 

 

 

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41zkopkkzhl._sx258_bo1204203200_.jpg.jpgCapture Your Style: Transform Your Instagram Images, Showcase Your Life, and Build the Ultimate Platform  by Aimee Song

Capture Your Style will empower you to become your own master mobile photographer, whether you’re looking to launch an e-commerce business or simply sharing a gorgeous meal with your friends, turning even the most mundane moment into Instagold. This is a must-have reference for anyone interested in the ins and outs of stylish personal branding.

 

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Rediscover Jesus: An Invitation by Matthew Kelly

How well do you know Jesus? I think about this often, and I always come to the same realization. I don’t know Jesus anywhere near as well as I would like to know him. The desire is there, but life gets in the way. There are times when I seem to be making great progress, and other times when I wonder if I know him at all. But I always arrive back at the same inspiring and haunting idea: If there is one person that we should each get to know in a deeply personal way, it is Jesus – the carpenter from Nazareth, the itinerant preacher, the Son of God, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, the Lamb of God, the new Adam, the Messiah, the Alpha and the Omega, the Chosen One, the Light of the World, the God-Man who wants good things for us more than we want them for ourselves, the healer of our souls.

 

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People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges by Jen Mann

A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat

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How to get over a funk?

Have you ever felt like you were in a funk? Maybe things that were once exciting and enjoyable now seem a bit dull. What were once pleasures are now obligations. You’re hot and you’re cold. You’re yes and you’re no. You’re basically a really bad version of a Katy Perry Song? Yeah, I’ve had those kind of days too. Left unchecked they have gone from days of joy and peace to just pieces. If you are currently in one of these moods, here are a few ways I overcome those days when I’m just feeling funky.

 

Connect with others

We were made for connectivity. I am more inclined to enjoy and value being alone more times than not. But just spending time with my laptop and library books can get a bit depressing after a while. Yet, while I do love and value my solitude there is nothing more energizing and uplifting to my spirits than connecting with other positive and fun loving people. Its hard to enter into a room of laughter and good times and still leave with a frown. How does the saying go? “A burden shared is a burden lightened.” So get connected, share with trusted people if you feel led to do so and allow others in who can uplift and support you.

 

Do something you enjoy

I’m not a jogger or anything but I hear a good exercise when you’re stressed or a run in the park is one of the best ways to relieve negative energy. I think for me just getting down the block would only frustrate me more because by the time I got down the street, I know I’ll have to walk winded with chest pounding all the way back to my house. Nonetheless, I do enjoy walking…to Starbucks mostly. I also enjoy miscellaneous train rides, writing music and even crocheting. It gets my mind active on something outside of my bad attitude or sour mood. Finding something you enjoy and treating yourself, perhaps even indulging a bit will be a great mood booster!

 

Do something for someone else

Have you ever noticed how good you feel when you do something for someone else? It’s like totally amazing right? Some find solace in knowing that by helping someone who is less fortunate or perceivably worse off than them it is a reminder that it can always be worse. However, I don’t necessarily see it that way. I see it as a reminder that if I, someone who is broken with so little to give can find it in my heart and means amongst my brokenness to do something kind, good and helpful for someone else, how much more is my father capable of blessing me? The God who is everlasting, ever faithful, never ending and in all abundance. It is my privilege to be a blessing towards others because it is a blessing and an honor to be blessed by God. Cant help but to feel good about that.

 

Study the Bible on a topic that has you funktified

If you can pinpoint the area or issue that is causing uneasiness in your life I challenge you to go to the word of God and see what it has to say about the circumstance or condition. When I’m going through something it’s so easy for me to think that I am the only one who has ever felt this way and no one in the whole wide world could possibly know how I feel…I know, dramatic huh? However, as you may know, that is completely false! You’re not the first and you’re definitely not the only. As Ecclesiastes so eloquently states “There is nothing new under the sun.” The bible is littered with all forms of circumstances and solutions related to the human condition and the healing, direction and overcoming power of a loving God who is always present and faithful to us every step along the way.

 

Meditation

Most times when I’m feeling uneasy and all funky about something it’s usually a good sign that something is stirring in my heart and God is tugging at my spirit to get me to recognize or deal with something going on inside of me. For example, a typical meditative conversation for me usually looks like this:

I notice I’m losing patience or lately I’m easily irritated and angered.

“Why?”

“Well…I’m overwhelmed.”

“Well why are you overwhelmed Sutana?”

“It’s probably because I have a lot on my plate. I’m trying to manage every aspect of my life and figure out what the next move should be and all the while still maintain the outcome of…. ooooohhh, wait…I see…I’m overwhelmed because I have placed all my faith in my own efforts and haven’t put much trust in God who is obviously far more capable and exceedingly faithful.

“Ugh Duh.”

“Thanks God.”

“Anytime Sutana!”

That’s a very rough draft synopsis, but on a more serious and literal note, meditation on God’s word, honestly searching through the concerns of your heart and allowing the Holy Spirit to have His way in and through you to fully reveal and speak to the hidden areas that need addressing is one of the best ways to get to the root of any funky issue.

 

 

Use your senses

I’ve always found that for me music penetrates my heart in a way I can not describe. Take a shuffle through my spotify I can go from jumping up and down to tears in a matter of 185 seconds.  Listening to music that uplifts my spirits, or validates my heart is a great encouragement to me. Others of us may be more visual or imaginative so a thoughtful movie or a good book may do the trick. How about cooking a great meal or a delicious dessert? Getting outside and smelling the roses as my 5th grade teacher Ms. G used to say. Just finding your own way of getting outside of negative thoughts and feelings for only but a moment and investing your attention elsewhere might be the mental pause you need to refresh and reset.

 

 

Still feeling Funky?…..Take a bath!

Seriously, baths are amazing 🙂 

My Bookshelf

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Bookshelf : Relationships

                       

Bookshelf : Enlightenment & Development

                

Friends with an Ex?

Today I was reading my devotion and was lead to 1 corinthians 10:23

“I have the right to do anything,” you say–but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”–but not everything is constructive.

& it got me to thinking about the freedom we have to choose. The freedom to choose what college we go to. The freedom to choose what city we live in and the freedom to choose between a balanced breakfast or peanut M&M’s. But just because we have the freedom to choose the places we go and the things we do it doesn’t mean that our choices should be frivolous. The truth is, often times many of the choices we have to make are never between what’s horribly evil and what’s fiercely good. Our choices are usually between what’s better and what’s best. Obviously, as you can see from the title of this post, one thought lead to another and with my recent relationships end I’ve been sincerely trying to answer this question for myself, “Can I be friends with my ex?” What’s better and what’s best? Here’s what I’ve concluded when considering the matter.

From Lovers to Friends Will Take Time…A-P-A-R-T

In my experience I don’t think I’ve ever gone from beau to buddy overnight…Let alone Fiance to friend. It’s never happened for me. I’m sure there are some success stories out there somewhere and more power to them. But I think its safe to say that in general developing an authentic friendship with someone you’ve dated takes time and time apart. This allows you to detach feelings and expectations of what the relationship once was. Its time to grieve, heal, and recover from the passing of the old aspect of the relationship so you can harbor a true friendship. Without that time apart you never allow for closure leaving yourself susceptible to regurgitating old hurts, developing unrealistic expectations or even reigniting romantic feelings the two of you used to share.

How and Why Did the Relationship End?

Its important to keep in mind that not every relationship is worth the fight to save it or revive it. If either of you were toxic for the other or you just simply do not get along with one another why on earth would you ever want to be friends with someone you do not vibe with, let alone like?

Always Go Natural

Friendships should develop naturally and shouldn’t be forced or pressured to be anything more or move any faster than what is comfortable for both parties. If you want to be friends with an ex it is essential to share that notion with the other and give them the choice to either reciprocate or decline and be respectful of that person’s space and decision as well.

Check Yo Self

What are your motives? dum dum dummmmm. I’ve had to ask this question of myself and even of my exes when they have reached out in friendship. Its important to know what drives you and compels you to want to remain friends after intimate love fades. Is it to avoid the pain that comes with heartbreak and love loss? Is it to rekindle and try again for what you once had? Or is it simply because you value your relationship and the platonic love you had and are genuinely seeking to salvage that aspect as friends? Either way be honest with yourself about what your motives. really are.

Not Every End is a Friend

Note: Not every relationships end will end up in friendship and that’s absolutely ok. I have exes I still talk to every week, exes I follow and communicate with on social media and exes I hope to never see again. Its different from person to person and not everyone will end up being friends so don’t pressure yourself to be one way or the other.

Conclusion: Is it beneficial?

And to bring it all back to the beginning…Is being friends with an ex beneficial for you? Do you regress in the healing process every time he/she texts you or do you feel inspired and uplifted when you casual talk every now and then? Does the relationship build you up? Does it edify your life or theirs? At the end of the day only you can answer these questions, it is the choice between whats better and whats best.. for you… 🙂